I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
