Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
