i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
