the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
