Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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