I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
