We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
