I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
