Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize