if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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