I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
