I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
