No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
