can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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