a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
