I wanna passion pit in your ass
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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