I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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