Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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