Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
