I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
