Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
