Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Porn is love you can see.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
