This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize