call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
