Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
