I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize