I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
