We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
