I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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