It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Randomize
