I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
