No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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