Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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