Don't make out with my wife yet
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
