his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
