i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
