Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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