i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
