At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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