I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
