Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
