I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
