Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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