i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
