What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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