I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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