the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
