Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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