For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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