So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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