Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i came on her dog
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
