it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
