Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
