Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This toilet bowl is my home.
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