Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
