Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
