Walk of Shame. In a state park.
do herpes really smell.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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