I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
