if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
