Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
