Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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