Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
